“I still do not know myself. Perhaps I never will. But I feel free — unbound by responsibility, I still can come up to my own private room, with my drawings hanging on the walls… and pictures pinned up over my bureau. It is a room suited to me — tailored, uncluttered, and peaceful…. I love the quiet lines of the furniture, the two bookcases filled with poetry books and fairy tales saved from childhood.
At the present moment I am very happy, sitting at my desk, looking out at the bare trees around the house across the street. …Always I want to be an observer. I want to be affected by life deeply, but never so blinded that I cannot see my share of existence in a wry, humorous light and mock myself as I mock others. I am afraid of getting older. I am afraid of getting married. Spare me from cooking three meals a day — spare me from the relentless cage of routine and rote. I want to be free — free to know people and their backgrounds — free to move to different parts of the world so I may learn that there are other morals and standards besides my own.
I want, I think, to be omniscient. …I think I would like to call myself “The girl who wanted to be God.” Yet if I were not in this body, where would I be — perhaps I am destined to be classified and qualified. But, oh, I cry out against it. I am I — I am powerful — but to what extent?
I am I.”
- Sylvia Plath, Reflections of a 17 Year Old.
